Thursday, May 8, 2014

Make Me Feel Proud: Day 1

It's tough being a girl. I think that we are the more judgemental of the sexes. I am guilty of making instant judgements of other women in a single glance, usually based on appearance. I don't like that about myself. And the person I judge most harshly is myself.

I've been struggling with my body image for a long time now. It's starting to affect my ability to maintain a healthy body weight, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of sabotaging myself with self-deprecating comments every single day. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and zeroing in on the flaws, and I'm tired of looking outside of myself for acceptance and reassurance. It's exhausting, not just for me, but for the people around me.

For the next thirty days, I'm going to think about one thing about me that I'm proud of. I'm going to try to stop defining myself by my appearance and start reminding myself that, no matter what I ate that day or what I didn't do, I'm still worthy of some compassion and understanding. Instead of thinking about what I'm NOT, I'm going to train myself to remember each day what I AM.

Today, I feel proud that I got through a difficult morning of sorting out some dubious credit card charges without having to turn to food for comfort. I think I handled myself with integrity and I treated the people I was talking to with dignity, despite my unhappiness with the way they handled my transactions. I am glad that I was able to handle the adrenaline without the need to stuff my face.

Day one. Feeling pretty good.

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