A restful weekend with lots of sleep and few obligations has given me enough of a perspective to finish off this challenge. This was more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I had this Pollyanna view that I'd just skip along, thinking of things I was proud of, and grow as a person, et cetera and so forth.
It turns out that being proud of yourself really takes a lot of work when the chips are down and things are looking dire. It takes some deep digging and a willingness to look on the bright side, both of which make me feel like I've been told to go hold hands with Big Bird from Sesame Street. Do I have to? Really? Seriously?
I think it was important for me to explore this, because it has, in general, changed my perception of myself for the better. I can't say that I'm totally finished with the self-deprecating comments to myself, but I do pause after I utter them. Do I really mean that? Do I really need to say that? No, I don't... because I'm actually a lot better than I say I am.
In terms of my struggles with emotional eating during stressful times, I decided I'd do this when I got to work today:
It's a Post-It stuck to my computer to remind myself that, no matter what happens, if I decide I need to eat, I may as well choose fuel instead of treats. It might be more calories that I need, but at least they'll provide me with some kind of useful energy for the long run, instead of the sugar rush and subsequent crash.
And, after I thought about it, learning to feel proud of yourself regularly provides you with a bit of fuel to feed on during the hard days: the days when people drag you down, or when you do things that you're not so proud of. It's a bucket of "good stuff" to dip into to remind yourself that you should keep moving forward, because you're kind of awesome, really.
Today, I'm proud of myself for recognizing opportunities when, in the past, I would have seen them as obstacles or setbacks. Sometimes, the scary stuff is there to make you realize you can handle things outside of your comfort zone.
Stay awesome, people.
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